Me

It began in Michigan. I don’t remember a time when My family had what anyone would consider ample, or even adequate money. I wouldn’t have know one way or another when I was younger, but I came to realize this fact as I grew up and I know now how straining this was on My parents and our family in general. So I made a note of this state, swore to never be in it myself, and moved on. But, regardless, we were a family. Two parents, 2.4 children, and a variety of pets over the years. Despite the lack of money, we maintained family. From My perspective, it was good overall.

My parents were accepting and encouraging. We were trusted to make our own decisions, and when that meant coming home at 7AM as a still mildly intoxicated 18 year old, punishment was not given, but it was expected that something was learned from the incident. Accepting and encouraging and, oh yeah, liberal. A great combination for a set of parents and one of the reasons that I try to emulate this parenting with Our son.

Anyway, Shortly before My 21st birthday, I made the decision to move to the western suburbs of Chicago for a summer away from home, and the summer stay was extended . . . indefinitely.

So here I remain. A father to one (Him) and a companion to one (Her) and with a trisect of chaos, life, and child, We go about our lives. It is not easy and, with Him, I’m convinced, that it never will be again.

But it hasn’t always been good. The first year of parenting was hard for Me, much as the first year of parenting was hard for Her.  I wasn’t any good. I wanted to be, but my patience was not yet adapted and My brain was still very much 21 years old. Because She is older than I am (by five years and two days, to be exact), I once attributed My lack of patience, understanding, and ability to My age, but I now know it as fear. Not because I have recognized that fear and overcome it, but because I have recognized it and I face it every day.

Like a rabid walrus: big, ugly, dangerous if approached, and immobile. But I’m working at it. And little by little the walrus is becoming more apt to pack up and head out. When that happens, I’ll let you know. But until then (and even after, I suppose), I will continue to parent, continue to try, and continue to fail in some areas and excel at others. And I’ll continue to share each and every struggle as I go.